A Matter of Trust
by Kirikou
Summary: All Calistah had ever wanted to do was be a friend to Hellion and keep him safe.
1. A Matter of Trust

The night had been tense from the first moment of his arrival. Several salutes, friendly waves and respectful greetings had been made upon the captain's arrival, but the female on the other side of the deck standing with her arms crossed and an unpleasant expression seemed all but happy to see him. Her arms moved to motion around herself, head tilting. Hellion sighed, his glowing eyes rolling with the expectation of what was to follow.

"Explain this, please?" Her voice accused the rogue who simply shrugged, which only further angered the female across from him.

"What's t'explain?"

"What's to explain? How about HOW you managed to do this!"

"Cut it too close t'the Malstrom, thas all. Took a 'lil damage that's bein' taken care of on -my- check, if ye can't remember yer own threats."

"A -little-? Hellion, I'm amazed that she's still floating! I told you that wasn't a good idea, why in the hell can't you ever listen to me? I'd figure you've been doing this long enough to know better! She'll be in for repairs for weeks! You know damned well what kind of hit this'll take-"

"So if I already know, why ya gotta keep caryin' on?" He snapped, interrupting her rant. Calistah closed her mouth, jaw clenched with a look of disbelief. The crew that remained on deck looked on as their captain moved away from the conversation, making his way below without another word to the priestess. She stood there with tight fists for several minutes, unable to decide how to go about her next moves. Every part of her wanted to do nothing but take the rogue around the neck and strangle him, pick him up and throw him overboard; anything to get rid of him. When he gave her attitude, she could handle it, but ignorance? Against her better judgment, she followed him. Before she could go completely down the stairwell however, a voice halted her.

"You sure you wanna be doing that, Cally?" She turned her head towards an older human. He was leaned casually against the outside rail, cigarette in mouth with a pleasant yet curious expression. Ever since the Kaldorei had been introduced to humans, ever since Hellion had allowed them to work for him, this human had been with them loyally. If not for him, Calistah would have never believed that their race had even an ounce of wisdom in their tiny bodies.

"Do what, Nicolai?" She responded with a raised eyebrow. The human tilted his head in the direction of Helion's previous location on deck.

"In his defense, we've had a very long week gettin' this old girl back in port without any further damage. Took a damn good care of it, Cally. Doesn't seem fair for you to be riding his back about it." He immediately spoke as soon as her expression turned sour. "I -know- that's where you're going, darling." Calistah made an attempt to smile sweetly, though it came out as more of a grimace.

"I appreciate your concern, Nic, but I think I've known him a little longer than you. Things will be fine in an hour or two, just wait." She continued down the stairs as Nicolai looked on, blowing out the last drag on his cigarette with a slow nod. The last Calistah heard of him was his voice ringing out for the boys to take a break. She weaved her way through passages until she reached Helion's room; She didn't bother to knock before entering. He was sitting on the far end of his bed, leaned against the wall, arms crossed with a hand poised to hold his forehead. The only thing that had moved to meet her gaze was his eyes; They held within them an emotion that made her uncomfortable for the first time in a few thousand years. Calistah sat on the other side of the bed with a dramatic sigh, leaning back in the same fashion.

"I really can't believe thi-"

"Why didn't you tell me about her." The question was direct, and in perfect Darnassian. This was a conversation that he had no interest in others hearing. The question was so sudden that Calistah had been caught off guard. She blinked several times, turning her gaze upon him. The look had not left his eyes, so she looked away again. It wasn't until then that the she had been able to comprehend what he was talking about. Her expression fell immediately.

"I couldn't."

"Why." Calistah suddenly felt as if she were being interrogated. She closed her eyes, wishing that she'd taken Nicolai's advice.

"You know damned well why, Hellion."

"So because of Hementia, I don't have the right to know when someone I care about -dies-? What else have you been hiding from me?" The tone of his voice was so full of accusation that it brought tears to her eyes. She turned her face towards him, but he wasn't watching anymore. She then noticed that in the hand that held his forehead, his necklace was also in the hand's grasp, off of his neck.

"You know how things were.. Hel, I couldn't stand to see you like that again-" She cringed in fright as the necklace suddenly flew out of his hand to hit the wall. He sat bolt upright, glaring at her with a mixture of hatred and confusion. She cowered backward slightly as his voice hit her at a fever pitch.

"Damnit, Calistah! And what the hell did you plan on doing? How the hell long were you going to keep it from me? Did you really.. really think I'd never find out? What gives you the -right-!"

"I'm sorry, I just.."

"I thought I knew you better than this, Cally, I really did." He looked away, appearing to calm down only slightly.

"You do know-"

"**I DON'T!**" He suddenly snapped back, attention turned back on her. "Do you know the meaning of the word Trust? I trusted you, Cally. Ten thousand years, damnit, you would think that would be a long enough time to be able to tell people things of importance! Elune knows what **ELSE** I don't know about because you "don't wanna see me like this"," His cruel mocking was enough to send her into full on tears.

"You don't understand..."

He suddenly laughed loudly. She put her hand to her mouth, sniffing back whatever tears she could. Could he not see her? Was it not obvious that she felt regret? Did he not care? "-I- don't understand. Right. I -don't- understand why you did that to me. What I -do- understand... is that I want you out of my sight!" Hellion shouted, launching himself off of his bed and striding out of his room, slamming the door behind him loud enough to attract the attention of the entire ship. Every person made quick to get out of his way as he stalked down the halls and up the stairwells back up to the main deck.

Calistah meanwhile, was left sitting there, staring after him with the fear that she'd lost her best friend. Before that day she'd never understood just how he'd felt when Hementia had passed away, what it was like to live without someone. The emotion hit her harder than she could have ever braced for, and left her sobbing in a heap on the bed.

_I'm sorry, Hellion... please forgive me..._


	2. A Matter of Truth

Hellion had been gone for a week. He vanished off the face of Azeroth without a word to anybody. Calistah who would usually take over in his absence had nothing to say and no plans made; They'd all heard the argument between captain and first mate, so it came as no suprise to the senior crew members when the announcement had been made of their extended vacation time. They -had- been suprised by the look in her eyes when she'd said it. Several of the boys immediately went off to take care of other things, leaving only Nicolai standing there with a female elf who looked as though someone had just taken away her favorite toy. She looked at him questioningly, and he jammed a thumb over the side of the ship.

"Stormed off a while ago, dear." Her face fell even further.

"He's never comming back." Her voice was hardly above a whisper. Nicolai immediately came foward, taking her arm gently.

"Come on, darlin', he says that all the time.."

"I know what he says! I know!" She shouted shrilly, pulling herself away from him and bursting into tears. He scrambled with her arms for several moments while she struggled, screaming obscenities, sobs and nothing at all. When she finally exhausted herself and fell into his arms, he lead her to the prow of the ship, shooing anybody who might've been hanging out. He offered her a smoke which she took with trembling hands.

"You know how he is, Cally. So do I. He's done this before, we already know that. Suprisingly bad temper fer such a laid back guy." The older human took a drag of his own cigarette, flicking a bit over the side. "I'd consider it a blessing in disguise that he has the sense and respect to take it out on something that isn't his own crew."

"You don't understand..." She huffed at the cigarette like a life line. Nicolai was almost tempted to take it away from her. "I'm leaving, Nicolai. If he.. if he doesn't want me around, I'll ... I'll just leave!" She could hardly speak without stammering, nearly losing herself again.

"Give it a week."

"Why would you wish me to suffer so?" She asked in desperation.

"It'll be worth it, I promise. Besides, we're having Johnathan's birthday next week. He'd be ruined if you didn't attend." The silence between them after that had been long and awkward. Calistah leaned heavily on the railing, peering out at the water, out towards the shore. She wished to be anywhere but here, anywhere that didn't constantly remind her of her failure to be one of the few friends that the vanished rogue had left. She'd been someone he was supposed to be able to count on, and she'd done nothing but lie to him.

The priestess clenched her fists tightly, stiffening. Everything she'd done had been for his benefit! She didn't deserve this at all! He knew damn well that she worried. When everyone else would've been content to let Hellion rot in that hole of depression and join the wife he greived over, she had been the one who fought the uphill battle to keep the oldest surviving Lulliasna alive. She had devoted every waking hour to the health of The Varesse and her crew for eight thousand years and counting, and even now when he had stormed off, she was still here. She'd dealt with his immaturity for her entire life and now he wanted to get rid of her? How was that fair?

I'm not going to be brushed off that easily.

"Fine. But only one week."

He'd returned sooner than they'd expected, but the reuinion had been a silent one. Helion had boarded the ship, waved to those who greeted him, handed Nicolai the shipping schedule for next week. He then turned heel and gone below deck as quickly as he'd entered, leaving Calistah to look on after the snow white hair left out of its customary pony tail that day. She knew that he'd seen her, but no acklowledgement of her presence had been; his eyes had gone right through her. As soon as the captain had vanished from sight, Nicolai turned his attention on the priestess who couldn't have looked any more devestated. He shook his head as if to say 'just give it some time' and she didn't look like she wanted to. He didn't have any time to reason with her, however. He had to catch that rogue and get him up to speed.

"Hellion."

"If it's about-"

"It's not."

"Or about-"

"Nope."

"Better not be abou-"

"Are you going to let me finish, sir?" Nicolai had found the captain stalking around in his quarters, tearing through papers and forcing work upon himself. Hellion had cringed at the use of honorifics, but it had finally shut him up long enough for the human to finally get a word in edgewise.

"Jeremiah's birthday is tomorrow, we thought about having it at the nearby tavern but he insisted that we celebrate right here on deck, so. Attending is up to you, but I'd recommend it after all that's been."

"If it's about-"

"It IS about that, and you need a damned vacation, Hel. The longer you sit around and let it sink in, the worse it's going to get. Come to the party, have a good time, let loose a little and let it go for tomorrow. Think you can do that?" Hellion had been stalking in front of his desk for the majority of the human's words and by the time he'd finished, the captain sat on top of his desk, scowling down at Nicolai. As much as he hated to admit that a human had any common sense at all, he couldn't really argue with that suggestion.

"And if I don't go?"

"Then you're every other boring, assinine, heartless captain the ocean's ever seen."

"Fine."

"Fine you're going or fine you're a boring, assinine, heartless captain?" Nicolai smiled smugly at the rogue, who's eyes were narrowing at an astounding speed. He hadn't known the captain for long, but it didn't take much to figure out what got under his skin. Night elves weren't so different from humans in that way no matter what kind of pedestal they tried to place themselves on, he guessed.

"Bit of both. Get outa my office."

"Yes sir."

"Would you quit that?"

"Sorry, sir."

The next night, the ship was set alight by dozens of lanterns of various colors by magical means or otherwise. Guests had been allowed onto the Varesse and the crew kept everyone entertained with dancing, singing and music. Even Hellion had dusted off his violin skills and joined in on a few quartets of simple sailing hymns. He'd taken Nicolai's advice in full and to anybody who hadn't seen him only a week prior would think that there wasn't a thing wrong with him. He was dressed in his best and having the best time of his life so far as anybody could tell.

Calistah on the other hand couldn't look any more miserable. She was dressed like a proper lady for once in her life but hung over the side of the ship with a cigarette in her hand, ruining the image completely. She'd only turned her attention towards the party for long enough to sing the birthday song to Jeremiah who might've been too wasted to realy appreciate the hundred voice chorus overtaking even the sounds of the tavern not far off. As the song died down she turned her back to the party once more, hardly noticing the person who'd come to stand beside her, lighting up his own smoke and chuckling lightly.

"Hate these damned things." Hellion smirked, fussing with his cuff links, the violin placed not far from his feet. The priestess stiffened, wondering for a moment how many drinks he'd had to be able to come over there and talk to her. She chanced a look at him while he was staring out at the sea.. not drunk. Not even tipsy. He flicked the cigarette out into the water, putting a hand out to her. "Dance?"

All the time after that had been a blur to her. She shouldn't have accepted that dance but she did, and there they were, spinning along the deck along with the rest of the party but not much feeling a part of it. Everything about that moment had felt like a dream, like she wasn't really there, and he wasn't really talking to her as if he'd never been angry and said such terrible things; All conversation between them had been in hushed darnassian, lest the rest of the crew know what they were on about. As the music moved into a slower pace, she found herself with her arms around him and staring into eyes that weren't as nearly as happy as they let on. She set her jaw, finally asking the question that had been on her mind since the moment he came up beside her. "What do you want from me, Hellion."

Quietly, she was lead away from the party and down into the ship, away from those who wished to listen in or spy on the two. He'd been quiet as he lead the way, a bee line straight to his room minus the sidestepping of a few stumbly sailors. Calistah could only assume that they were off to have the conversation that would be a definitive of her staying or going, or just another re-hash of the prior argument; She wasn't looking forward to either but it was too late to turn back now.

She'd heard the click of the door closing behind them. Before she'd had a chance to blink or breathe she'd been spun around and pushed against the wall beside that door. The look in his eyes filled her with dread and in her mind came several defense spells to fend him off for just long enough to allow her escape. His hands were already upon her shoulders, so easily could he reach up and choke her to death, take out his swords and slice her bit to bit. His outfit may have been fancy but it had function and only Elune knew how many daggers or poisons he had hidden in there. All of this considered, what actually happened had thrown her for the biggest loop of her life.

She'd hardly had the time to register the rough lips that had pressed against hers, a single hand brushing away the tears she hadn't even realized had been falling. She allowed him closer and deeper and for those few moments they couldn't seem to get close enough. She was still in a state of shock as he'd finally pulled away from the priestess and allowed her to breathe and get her bearings as her neck became his next victim. She gasped as his hands traveled, unsure of what to do or where to go. Was this some kind of dream, and if so when would she wake up? "You don't want this..." She finally managed to utter, using the strength she had left to push him away from herself. He forced himself closer and their eyes met again. The look was different this time, one of confusion and desparation.

"I don't know what the hell I want." He muttered, pushing his lips against hers again, letting the feeling linger for several long moments. If there was anything he'd missed the most, it was that feeling of closeness that he'd constantly denied everyone since the day Hementia had left. He didn't know what had come over him in this moment but he wasn't the kind to annalyze feelings or the reasons for being. "This is what you want, though."

"This...I can't have this!" She put her hands upon his chest, pushing backward but he wouldn't budge. Her eyes lowered to the tips of her own fingernails, feeling them brush against the necklace that he still wore faithfully, even now. Even now, her trinket was hanging on the end of it, and it was this that Calistah picked up, peering up at Hellion who knew damned well what she was trying to insinuate. "You already belong to someone."

"And she's been dead for a thousand years." The tone of his voice was spitefull. "You were there with me, you heard what she said, every word of it." Her eyes lowered to the floor, tearing up. It was the truth, she'd heard everything from denial to acceptance to her telling a sobbing mate with her dying breath to go on with his life and find someone new to love. Instead of following her words he'd locked himself away and even as they stood there only inches away from each other, she could feel the immense distance suddenly appear at the mention of her. "I'm not gonna get what I want, Cally. That dream died with her and so did I. I shouldn't be alive."

"You're not dead to me. You're everything I've ever wanted, Hellion. You know that. I've accepted my defeat, and I'm sorry that it hasn't been gracefull." Her hands ran through his hair, enjoying this closeness that she knew she'd never feel again. His forehead dropped into the crook of her neck and there was silence for what felt like an eternity. In all honesty, she could've stayed like that forever. Her interests where conflicted; She'd already denied his advances.. but she wanted to say yes, so badly. Why after all this time of waiting, after the anger and endless patience, all the jealousy, good times and bad... and now, she couldn't do it.

"One night. You deserve at least that much." The way they were right now, she couldn't say no. She couldn't and wouldn't leave now. The only movement she made was to slide her hand along the wall and to the door, locking it.

None of the crew would know what happened that night between the sheets as friends became lovers for the first and only time. The next morning, things returned to normal as they'd always been. The Varesse set sail with a smiling captain at the helm, a bitchy first mate at the prow and a hungover crew ready for adventure on the high seas.


End file.
